he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
