big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
