babies were throwing up all over the place
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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