i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
My breasts were aching with rage.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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