Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
