i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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