nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
