There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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