And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
