just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
