By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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