Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
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