It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
