Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
