I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Randomize
