I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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