This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize