The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
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