Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
