It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
