Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
