Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
