we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
