so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
