how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
