I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
