well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
