OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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