Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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