upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
she told me i tasted like america
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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