I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
