So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
