I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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