He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
only you would photoshop your dick
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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