What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
it was like eating out sand paper
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
