fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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