yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
