I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
How's work?
Spinning.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
