I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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