I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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