It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
