this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
