Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
