If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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