i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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