Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
