If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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