i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
