Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
