can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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