it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
