they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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