Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Let's get the cat blown out
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
